12 STEPS - Step 9
/STEP 9
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
MINISTRY OF RECONCILIATION
Now that The Spirit of the Lord has guided us through identifying those whom we have wronged (Step 8), we seek to make the amends next. The amends that we seek is for any wrong that we have done regardless of whether the individual is aware of it or not at the time. For some, including myself, having to ask for forgiveness for a wrong that I have committed can bring tremendous anxiety. Me being codependent on other people does not make this a simple task. Nevertheless, forgiveness, after all, is what we place our entire faith in. Forgiveness and reconciliation is something that we find our selves familiar with through Christ’s death on the cross. Now that Christ has reconciled us to himself we are entrusted with that same message as Paul states:
All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)
FULLNESS OF LIFE
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. (Matthew 5:9)
Seeking reconciliation is scary, messy and humbling. Pride has no place in step nine. We must surrender our powerlessness, even in these intimate conversations, as we open our hearts to those we have wronged and ask for forgiveness, but God’s word promises that He will be with us. We do our part and make the amends, but we trust it within the hands of our Father to finish the work of reconciliation in the relationship. I have been on both the initiating and receiving ends of an amends and it is both humbling and beautiful all at once.
We see an amazing picture of an amends in the Old Testament between Jacob and Esau in Genesis 33. If you don’t know the story of Esau and Jacob, I encourage you to discover more, but in summary, we see a picture of two brothers who had a deeply broken relationship be restored by the grace of God.
But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. (Genesis 33:4)
I also love the amends that the Men’s SA white book describes:
“It is the moment of truth. We cast ourselves onto God. We courageously come face to face, not only with the person we've avoided, but with ourselves-the real monster we've been fleeing all our lives. Then, when we've done it, there's a marvelous sense of relief, and great joy.”
DAY BY DAY
I hope these pictures give us great hope as we seek to carry out the ministry of reconciliation in our daily lives. This is the life that we were created for in Christ. To have fullness of joy. As we continue along our journey we should continue to rework these steps frequently. Praying to God that He would search our hearts and lead us to live peaceably with all.
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24)
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. (Romans 12:18)
