12 STEPS - Step 10

STEP 10

We continued to take a personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

EPHESIANS 4:22-24

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off the old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

At this point, we have seen that the Lord has done quite a bit of work on us from where we started.  I have been able to recognize that I’m powerless over [insert addiction, relationship, person, idol, hurt, habit, hangup, etc here], that my life has become unmanageable, and that I desperately need God to restore me to sanity. This has begun to transform my understanding of him, and now I have a decision to make: live according to my will, my desires, my longings… or... to turn every aspect of my life over to the care of God. (Steps 1-3). 

2 CORINTHIANS 4:1-2

Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry (the new covenant with Christ), we do not lose heart. Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.

We find that surrendering is worth the risk, but it’s a difficult path with more heart-wrenching work ahead.  I have to get alone with God, to do business with him, as he helps me to search deeply and fearlessly into the secret, painful places of my heart through a personal inventory. I have to rely on the Lord as he leads me to take a step of faith and courage to admit to God,  myself, and another person the exact nature of my wrongs. Although significant healing has taken place, the next layers of brokenness come to the surface, as the continued work of the gospel shows me character defects and shortcomings, and combined with my addiction, those have definitely impacted the relationships around me.  It will take some time, because it would be easy to let pride sink in or to minimize these raw, but scarred areas. This is where I have to rely on God to get me through this, to humbly ask God: to remove the defects, to remove the shortcomings, to help me make a list of those I’ve harmed, to step forward in wisdom and faith of making direct amends to those people wherever possible. (Steps 4-9)

COLOSSIANS 3:1-3

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

But the work isn’t done.

This is where Step 10 comes in. Step 10 is the summary of how a loving, gracious, and forgiving God has repeatedly shown up, of what he has done, and of what still needs to be done.  It’s that practical step that keeps us present, no longer bound by the wreckage of our past or living in paralyzing fear of the future. It’s taking the journey that God has walked with us on and helping us live for the right now in that restored fellowship with Him, ourselves, and with others.

PSALM 139:23-24

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any way offensive in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

The above prayer is part of my nightly routine.  God, check me first. Check my side of the street.  Where have I not felt (or wanted to feel) my feelings? Where have I caused harm or hurt to others because of careless/unintentional words or actions? Where am I wanting to deny or minimize my addiction, my character defects, my shortcomings because I don’t want to deal with them? Is there anything that has slowly crept in that would compromise my sobriety, my obedience, my relationships, or what I know to be true about You?  Am I still thinking I know what’s best, or holding onto something where I am not living in full surrender?

They are hard but necessary questions to ask. They are questions I might not want to know the answers to, because it shows that I haven’t arrived, and I still need God as much (if not more) to keep working it out in me.  But that’s where the beauty and gift of the 10th Step comes in.  I no longer have to spend countless days, weeks, months, or years wrestling with God in anxiety - or anger-driven control of the perceived outcome. I no longer have to make my relationship with God a balancing checklist of good works/ happy thoughts to outweigh the shameful mistakes. He’s now empowered me with His time-tested tools to take care of it, and to take care of it quickly.  I can now live without fear of judgement or rejection, can be honest, can be known by others, can ask for help or forgiveness, and can see myself and others rightly (as image bearers of the Creator). Most importantly, I can continue to live in freedom and gratefulness because I can see God for who he has already been and who he will continue to be.

Living under the hope of the 10th Step allows us to make this vital practice a part of our “new normal” or daily habit.  As with all things, it will take time, and it won’t be easy.  It is a reminder of God doing for us what we can not do for ourselves.  You need only to be still, to be willing, and to be open to the work God wants to do in you.